Do You Like To Be Entertained? If You Do Then Don't See This Film: A Nature's Grave (aka The Long Weekend) Review
Film Score: ZERO STARS
Released by Screen Media Films
Starring: Jim Caviezel and Claudia Karvan
Written by Everett De Roche
Directed by Jamie Blanks
Rated R (language, some disturbing violent images and brief sexual material)
Nature’s Grave is an insufferable film. A film that does not know how to entertain its audience. The film is advertised as a “when nature attacks” film like Grizzly or Jaws, but it pales in comparison to any “when nature attacks” film. There was a film that was released in the last five years called Bear. The film was about a group of people who decided to take a “shortcut” to get to a concert or something. On the way through the “shortcut”, the group encounters a bear. For the next hour and twenty minutes the group is harassed by this bear. Of course the group is dumb and plays into this dumbness by provoking the bear. The bear jumps on top of the car and tries to smash it. The bear kills one of the dummies and the rest cry and argue about it.
The story to this film is simple: A husband and wife decide to go to a secluded beach in their native (at least for her) Australia to try to mend their broken marriage. The wife doesn’t really want to go but decided that her marriage is more important than anything else at this point in time. The couple pack up the car and head to the beach.
Now, the first fifteen minutes is spent on the couple driving to this beach. The scenes were shot at night and the light level is low, so anytime there is a nighttime scene so expect to see nothing. Once the couple gets to the beach things start happening. Not the good kind of happening like a bear coming out of nowhere and attacking the couple. No, they have to deal with some ants. The wife sprays the ants and that is it for the thrilling scene of the death of the ants.
The rest of the film is little pieces that are supposed to become a whole by the end of the film, but ultimately go nowhere. There is a sea lion that washes up on the shore of the beach, dead. The couple go and look at it (it looks like a stuffed animal) and wonder what happened. It is implied that the couple has been throwing garbage into the ocean and this is to show the couple that what they did was wrong. I thought it was kind of funny.
I would tell you more about what happens in this film, but that would make me relive this traumatic
experience again. I do not want to do that. It is a shame that a film like can be made. How thought that this was a good idea. “A film where nothing happens? Take all of my money.” It doesn’t help that the characters are two of the most despicable characters I have seen in some time. There are killers in slasher films that I root for more than this couple. There is a scene early on where the husband aims his new spear gun at his unsuspecting wife and pretends to put the trigger. A scene like this shows me what type of film we are in for.
The film has pacing problems, terrible acting , lifeless direction, and almost zero animal attacks. For a film that advertises that the film is a social commentary on pollution and then does nothing about it, we definitely have a winner on our hands. Nature’s Grave is a soulless, pointless, and just plain stupid film that expects the audience to go along with two of the worst people to grace the screen since Freddy fought Jason. I was waiting around for the entire film’s run time, waiting for something, anything to happen, and the film failed. Oh did the film fail.
One more thing before I go: Look at the poster for the film at the beginning of this review. None of that happens in this film. If it did I wouldn't have been so mad. I would have been able to watch the two leads get eaten and that would have made the film so much more interesting and, ultimately, satisfying.