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The Secret of the Sword

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"I've got that flying horsey in my sight" He-Man & the Masters of the Universe was a massive hit toy line and a massive hit animated TV series. He-Man ruled the airwaves in the 80s and it would only make sense to not only make a feature length theatrical film but also a new spin-off series with a new character! The film follows Price Adam/He-Man as he embarks on the search for his twin sister. Turns out that a new villain by the name of Hordak had kidnapped He-Man's twin sister shortly after birth and taken here to another dimension on a planet called Etherea. No one knows what happened to the little girl, Adora. But, with this information and with a magical sword, He-Man is on his way to find Princess Adora.  What much can be said of "The Secret of the Sword", it's not necessarily a film for cinemas as there is nothing special enough about the movie for it to warrant a theatrical release, other than the length of the film. The animation remains the

Chopping Mall ***




Even though this movie is incredibly stupid, it's got that 80s cheesy fun. The movie takes place at a mall where they have introduced robot guards that will keep intruders or what will you out of the mall. They are made to stop these people simply by keeping them there until the police arrive. Well, as usual, teenagers want to stay at the mall at night and have sex. Why not? Anyway, the robots come up to these people but unlike how it was described at the beginning of the movie, the robots do not recognize the employees, but they start killing the people. So it's a survival story at it's best.

This movie is just a fun movie to watch. I do believe that the director (who is famous in the soft core porn business) knew very well what he was doing and deliberately made it cheesy. There are some funny lines that delivered seriously like "I'm just not used to being chased by killer robots in a mall at night". There is a classic head explosion in the movie, that I believe was shown in the trailer. The effect is just very well done, especially for a low budget 80s horror movie.

The ending is a bit odd, only because I don't know why none of the other characters figured something like that out. Barbara Crampton, from "Re-Animator" fame, is in this movie. My question is how did she get so ugly in one year? She was so cute and adorable in "Re-Animator" in 1985, and this came out in 1986 and she was terribly ugly in this movie. I didn't even know it was her until maybe the 3rd of 4th viewing of this movie because I looked it up on IMDb.

Honestly, this movie is a good time. Just watch it to have a good time, it's not by any means a good movie, but it's an enjoyable movie for what it is.

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